Take Me With You
Title: Take Me With You
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Rian Dawson (yes I ship it deal with it)
Warning: Implied character death, angel au
Summary: Rian hears the door shut and then he’s gone, just a silhouette against the skyline.
Author Notes: This is loosely based on part of last night's episode of Doctor who. I cried writing it.
Disclaimer: Don’t own the boys, just the plot.
“I’m sorry,” is the first thing Alex says when Rian walks through the door. There’s hardly any emotion in his voice and it’s something Rian has gotten used to over the past year. It doesn’t upset him like it used to. He’s become accustom to Alex watching with his head tilted in curiosity when he yells or smiles or cries. Angels have been taught to constantly be in control of their emotions.
“Sorry for what?” Rian asks cautiously. Alex has never apologized for anything before.
“Sorry for letting you fall in love with me.” Alex practically whispers, mouth twitching just a fraction.
“How do y-“
“I see it in your eyes.” Alex breathes, staring with something akin to sadness.
“Oh.” Rian thought he was doing as good a job at hiding his love for Alex as the angel does at hiding his emotions. “Why are you sorry?”
Alex looks down, wings curling around his body a little. It’s like he’s protecting himself.
“I have to go.”
Rian’s eyes widen and his muscles tense slightly, just enough for Alex to notice.
“Ha-ave to go? Where do you have to go?”
“Back up to heaven.”
Alex won’t meet Rian’s eyes, not even when he kneels down in front of the Angel, cupping his face with callused hands.
Alex closes his eyes. He’s feeling. Not in the emotional sense; he’s feeling the rough drag of Rian’s skin as he swipes his thumb over his cheekbone. He’s feeling the warmth of his fingers, the comfort of human touch that he really doesn’t want to leave behind.
“You’re leaving me?” Rian’s voice cracks.
“No.” Rian says, standing up and running his hands over his head. “You’re not sorry. You- you’re never sorry Alex. You never feel anything and even if you do you don’t show it.”
Alex stands up, wings curling further into him.
“I am Rian. I really honestly am.”
There’s an ache in the back of Rian’s throat, the kind where he knows he’s about to start crying.
“You’re not! You think you can just come down here and drop into people’s lives and you’ve screwed everything up but it was okay because I thought you’d stay.” There are tears gathering in the corners of Rian’s eyes and he’s pacing. “You have no right to do what you did! Just… If you’re going, fuck off now Alex. Just go.” Rian’s voice shakes and he’s screwed his hands into fists.
Alex’s mouth hangs open a little bit. Rian has never sworn at him.
Alex clenches his jaw, wings folded tight to his body.
“Fine.” Alex grits out. “Fine.”
Rian hears the door shut and then he’s gone, just a silhouette against the skyline.
When Alex returns to earth it’s a year later and he’s only allowed back for a day so the Angel’s first priority is to find Rian and apologize.
His first port of call is Rian’s house.
He knocks the door but it’s not Rian who answers. It’s a woman in her young twenties, balancing a toddler on her hip. Alex has made sure his wings aren’t visible so the woman smiles politely. She looks tired, her hair falling out of a loose braid.
“Hi um, do you know who Rian Dawson is?”
“Oh, the lovely man I bought this house from. Yes he’s at St Mary’s hospital.”
Alex swallows hard.
“Thank you very much.”
“No problem honey.”
Alex asks a lot of people for directions and an hour later (after being helped by a nurse) he finds himself knocking on a door before pushing it open quietly.
When he looks around the corner he’s so shocked he nearly gasps aloud.
In the bed is a man who looks to be in his mid-eighties. He’s hooked up to several different machines and he’s barely breathing. The thing that makes Alex feel like he’s been punched in the stomach is that this man is most definitely Rian.
It’s only then that Alex recalls being told that time on earth moves far faster than it does up in heaven.
“Rian.” Alex breathes, falling into the molded plastic chair by Rian’s bedside.
Rian’s eyes open just a fraction.
“A-lex?” He practically whimpers. “You ca-ame back.” He whispers, eyes sunken and tired yet still shining with that little sparkle that Alex recognizes as the one that was always there when he caught Rian staring at him.
“I did.” Alex whispers, eyes shining with unshed tears.
“I waited-“ Rian coughs violently and Alex frantically grabs for his hand as Rian’s body convulses, “m-my whole life for you.”
“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry.” Alex chokes, clinging to Rian for dear life.
“I know. I forgive you. I have to go.” Rian whispers.
“Where do you have to go?”
“Up to heaven.” Alex is trembling, shaking. For the first time ever, the Angel cries. “Take me with you.”
And he does.