Visions Of A Brighter Love
Pairing: Alex Gaskarth/Matt Flyzik
Warnings: burn scars, insecurity. That is all.
Summary: Matt is intent on convincing Alex that he's beautiful
Author Notes: I actually really enjoyed writing this I think this is one of my best pieces of writing.
Disclaimer: Don’t own the boys, just the plot.
They kiss slow and open, tongues sliding softly together. Matt’s tongue dips behind Alex’s teeth, hands caressing the skin of Alex’s sides slowly, fingers curling into the hoodie that swamps the brunette. Alex’s fingers slide into Matt’s hair, running through the strands and it’s a nice, comforting feeling. Matt is glad that Alex’s so relaxed. He wouldn’t be even considering this if there was so much of a hint of nerves on the brunette’s part.
Alex makes a muffled noise against the other man’s lips, rising up to his knees and taking Matt with him. Matt’s one hand moves up to curl around the hairs at the nape of Alex’s neck, the fingers of his other hand itching to feel some more contact, some skin.
He pulls back and his nose bumps with Alex’s, forehead resting against the brunette’s. Alex’s eyes slide open and his pupils are blown, lips parted as he sucks in breath like he’d been drowning. The lust is evident in his eyes but there are soft undertones of love and affection shining in his pupils.
“Are you sure?” Matt breathes, eyebrows raised slightly.
His voice has dropped an octave and Alex groans, low in the back of his throat because Matt looks pretty perfect right now.
“I’m sure just… Don’t freak out okay?”
Matt laughs quietly, sucking his lip into his mouth and biting on his lip ring as his hand moves around to the small of Alex’s back.
“I won’t freak out.”
Alex looks up at him and his eyes are wide, open and trusting.
Matt smiles, soft around the edges, but maybe that’s just Alex’s mind clouding things over a little.
“Cross my heart.” Matt whispers, mouth nearly brushing Alex’s as he draws an x over his chest with his finger.
Alex’s hands grip the front of Matt’s shirt as he gently pulls him down to lie with him, Matt leaning over Alex and sliding a leg between the brunette’s, mouths meeting softly again. The brunette’s fingers slide up the front of Matt’s shirt, thumbs pressing into hips then fingers sliding over ribs. Matt’s thigh presses higher and Alex whimpers, hips shifting just a fraction.
Alex breath catches and he pulls back from the kiss, eyes still closed as he indulges himself in the sensations.
“Off.” Alex almost-whines, fingers pulling at the black fabric of Matt’s shirt.
Matt sits back on his heels, pulling off his own shirt and giving Alex a second to stare. Alex’s eyes drink in every inch of what he can see, tracing over the outline of Matt’s collarbones, following contours of muscle until it’s gone from his view as Matt leans down and kisses him again. Matt’s fingers slide up under Alex’s shirt and run soothingly over ridges and bumps of scars. Alex’s intake of breath is audible and it happens every time.
“It’s okay Lex.” Matt whispers, pulling back from the kiss slightly.
“I know.” Alex whispers, his arms around Matt’s neck. “I love you.” He sucks on his lip straight afterward and Matt sees that little sparkle in his eyes.
“I love you too.”
Matt sits back up again and hovers over Alex, his hands curling into the brunette’s shirt. He pushes it up a little and can instantly see the scars he has from the skin grafts. Matt leans down and presses kisses to the scars that are so light Alex can barely feel it with the nerve damage and all. He appreciates the gesture since he’s been worried sick about this.
“Relax.” Matt laughs a little, feeling the way Alex’s muscles are taught where his fingers rest on the hemline of his boyfriend’s shirt.
Matt pushes his shirt up a little and the difference between the scars from the skin grafts and the scars from the burns is so noticable. The burn scars are a different colour than the rest of Alex’s skin, more pink and rough to the touch. Matt doesn’t realize he’s staring until a very quiet, barely audible noise comes from above him.
He looks up and Alex is staring down at him with wide, honey eyes, inklings of fear seeping into his gaze. Matt realizes his staring had made Alex really self-conscious and worried.
“I um-“ Alex reaches down and grips the hem of his shirt with shaky fingers.
“It’s okay Lex, sorry for staring.”
Matt’s hand comes up to cover Alex’s and after a few seconds Alex lets go of his shirt, tangling his fingers loosely with Matt’s.
His kisses are more insistent this time, with more purpose so Alex really feels them. He kisses along the edge of the scar, pushing Alex’s shirt up as he goes until it’s bunched up around his armpits and his full chest is on show. His breathing is a little shallow and Matt can see the fear in his boyfriend’s eyes. Alex’s eyes have always been really open; Matt can tell every flicker of emotion just from his eyes.
Matt leans over Alex and rubs his thumb along his boyfriend’s jawline as he kisses him and it's far slower and softer than their usual kisses and it makes tears build up behind Alex’s closed eyes.
Matt pulls back and he’s so close to Alex that all the brunette can see is the out-of-focus brown and black of Matt’s eyes. A few tears spill down Alex’s cheeks and Matt’s instantly pulling back a little.
“Hey.” Matt murmurs, thumbs softly stroking away the tears. “Lex? Is it too much? We c-“
“No.” Alex whispers, voice cracking even on the two letter word. “It’s just really emotional.” The singer murmurs. “No one has ever…” Alex trails off, leaving the sentence for Matt to finish in his head.
“It means a lot that you trust me so much.”
When Matt gets Alex’s shirt off he sets about the task of kissing over every mark, every burn, every dip and ridge that covers his boyfriend’s chest. It takes a while for Alex to relax but after some murmured words and reassurances he’s stopped worrying and he’s letting Matt trail fingers and kisses along his chest and across his collar bones.
Alex doesn’t know how much time has passed when Matt finally settles down next to him in bed, arms winding around Alex’s waist as the brunette presses into him.
Matt runs his fingers through Alex’s hair until the singer is half asleep, eyes drooping and breathing slowing.
“Thank you.” Alex murmurs, nose pressing into the hollow of Matt’s throat. “Thank you for making me feel beautiful.”
With that one sentence Matt knows he’s done it. He’s achieved what he set out to do when he saw Alex sitting in that coffee shop, when he saw his shirt ride up a little when he reached for his order across the counter, when he saw the scars and most importantly when he saw how little confidence he had.
He’s finally made Alex feel exactly how Matt sees him.